거울을 보며 나를 온전히 받아들이기

오늘의 마인드풀니스

조용범 박사ㅣYong Cho, Ph.D.
person holding a mirror on an open field
오늘은 거울로 우리를 바라보는 시간을 갖도록 하겠습니다.

손거울이나 핸드폰 카메라를 준비합니다.

우리의 얼굴을 상세하게 관찰하며 다양한 표정과 모양을 살펴봅니다.
 
나의 얼굴의 피부와 생김새를 세밀하게 관찰합니다.
내 얼굴이 생각해왔던 모습과 다른지 살펴봅니다.
 
내 모습에 대해 부정적 생각이 들거나 받아들이기 어렵다면, 
그 생각을 그대로 관찰합니다.
지금의 얼굴 모습이 어떻게 만들어졌는지 생각해 봅니다.
그리고 나의 마음을 다해 나의 모습을 수용합니다.
 
내 모습에서 받아들여지지 않는 모습이 있다면,
먼저 그것이 무엇인지 자각합니다.
내 모습을 바라볼 때 느껴지는 감정을 숨기거나 피하려는 감정이 있는지 관찰해 봅니다.
그리고 거울에 비춰진 얼굴을 있는 그대로 수용한다고 내 마음 속으로 서약합니다.
온 힘을 다해, 온전히 내 모습을 있는 그대로 받아들이겠다고 서약합니다.
 
마음 속에서 나를 바라보는 것을 거부하려고 하면,
그 순간을 그대로 감내합니다.
그리고 기꺼이 함으로 철저하게 나의 모습을 그대로 수용합니다.

Learning to love myself

DBT Treatment Period: 10 months
DBT Treatment Outcome: Emotion Regulation Skills
DBT Client

I had doubted the purpose of life when I had to tolerate the painful difficulties, although I understood that life cannot be always without obstacles. “I’m overreacting”, “I have a lot of issues”. I preoccupied myself with self-doubts, even when I was with my loved ones. Having gone through a difficult time, I contacted the Tree Group as my last hope and after ten months, a lot of things changed in my life.

 

I learned to love and protect myself and I am confident in doing so. I am no longer afraid of the unknown challenges in the future. I know that I am a much bigger person than any emotion. The DBT program at the Tree Group has been the biggest luck in my lifetime experience. I thank all the Tree Group clinicians for guiding me to living for myself.  

* We appreciate our clients for their honest and sincere testimonials. 

Palm the Present Moment

Take a time to appreciate your body and mind for actively participating in your steps toward growth.
By 이승하 Seungha Lee, MSc

The DBT Skills Training group practiced mindfulness by palming the present moment and increasing awareness of the current moment.

 

Read the instructions below and experience mindfulness of the present moment. 

 

Begin by focusing on your breathing and take several deep breaths in and exhaling fully.  

 

Raise your hands up to your chest as the palms face each other 15-20 cm apart. Notice how much energy and tension it requires.   

 

Very slowly bring the palms together, pause when you notice any sensations of pressure, warmth, or energy. Notice the sensation. Is it changing moment by moment or it is consistent?  

 

Bring the palms closer together just until the fingertips touch. Imagine a few molecules of the right-hand dancing with molecules on the fingertips of the left-hand.  

 

Very slowly, continue to bring the palms closer together until they gently touch one another and notice the subtle shift in the positioning of your wrist, elbows, back, and chest. Notice the heat or temperature building up. Relax your body, other than your hands, as much as you can and notice the change in sensations. 

 

Finally, like a flower blossom opening up to the morning sun, slowly open your palms up, letting the light and air in. Notice the coolness of the air between the palms. Very slowly, feel the gravity tugging at your arms and your hands until they come down to rest on your lap.

 

Take a breath in and exhale out and take time to appreciate your body and mind for actively participating in your steps towards growth.

GLAD technique

Embracing happiness with the GLAD Technique
By 이승하 Seungha Lee, MSc

In the previous DBT skills training group, we practiced Gratitude, Learned, Accomplishment, Delight (GLAD) Technique to experience the mindfulness of having a peaceful state of mind.  

 

Read the following instructions, and notice the happiness from the mindful moments.

 

Think of something you are thankful for today. 

Your gratitude might be as simple as a warm roof over your head, having water or food that gives you the energy to get through the day. Or your gratitude might be appreciating your significant others; friends, family, or any meaningful relationship that you may have. 

 

Think of what you learned today. 

You might have learned something new about yourself or others

You could have had new perspectives from books or experiences 

 

Think of your accomplishments. 

One might believe that an accomplishment involves a big event, but it does not have to be. 

Daily goals such as having enough sleep or visiting a cafe you wanted to try, are self-caring behaviors that allow you to take small steps forward. 

 

Finallythink of one thing that brought you delightAnything that made you smile or laugh

It could be looking up at the blue sky or waking up to the smell of coffee.  

 

Reflect on your gratitudelearningaccomplishments and delight today and notice that warmth and peace can be felt at any moment, wherever you are.

 

Adapted from The Mindfulness Toolbox by Donald Altman, this technique, as well as others in his book, are fantastic for making lasting changes in confidence and becoming more mindful. 

 

APA Reference 
Roberts, E. (2014, October 6). Negative Thoughts Consuming Your Mind? The G.L.A.D. Technique, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2021, November 9 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2014/10/do-negative-thoughts-consume-your-mind-try-this-technique 

DBT The “DEAR DOG” Inter-species Effectiveness Skill

Connecting at a more meaningful level with the "DEAR DOG" skill
By 이승하 Seungha Lee, MSc

Dear all creatures of the world and our DBT friends and family,  

 

With the assistance of microscopic entity, we are facing the new epic era of human contact- the exchange of our souls and dealing with our difficulties online. In reviewing the DEAR MAN skill in a DBT online group session, we found out that one of our young adult clients had been stuck at home alone with her dog for nearly 4 weeks. Her only contact was her own dog, ‘co-co’. We asked her to apply the DEAR MAN skill with her dog; she did it with co-co and it was  an amazing extension of the DEAR MAN skill to other creatures. 

 

We named it “DEAR DOG, Inter-Species Effectiveness Skill.” We hope this humorous skill set brightens the mood of all DBT clinicians and clients around the world.

 

Thanks to Dr. Linehan for this wonderful skill. Cheers to all!   

 

The “DEAR DOG” skill is an inter-species effectiveness skill that can help us connect with our furry friends at a more meaningful level.

 

Doodle: Your dog’s ultimate goal is always to have fun with you. Don’t forget that problem behaviors arise when this goal is not met!

 

Observe: Does my dog need more nose work activities? Is my dog feeling uncomfortable? Always observe mindfully.

 

(be) Gentle: No aggression, threats, criticism, or mockery. Always keep a gentle attitude even when you dog makes trouble.

DBT Showing Appreciations for our Body and Mind

Showing appreciation for the various emotions within our minds
By 이승하 Seungha Lee, MSc

In the previous DBT skill training session, we did a very special mindfulness that is the mindfulness of ‘Showing Appreciations for our Body and Mind’.

 

We observed and showed appreciation for our eyes, nose, lips, ears, neck, hands, feet, and hips,
our stomach, liver, kidneys, lungs, and heart.

 
Lastly, we showed appreciation for the various emotions within our minds.

 

If you are ready, join the mindful journey of showing appreciation for your mind and body.

 

Relax your shoulders in a comfortable position.
Close your eyes. Think of all the elements of your body and mind
and thank them mindfully.

 

Dear eyes, thank you for letting us see our beloved ones,
the beautiful scenery, and what we wish to see. 

 

Dear neck, thank you for supporting our head and for allowing the expression of opinions.

 

Dear feet, thank you for guiding us where we wish to go,
and for supporting our whole body.

 

Dear stomach, thank you for absorbing the essential nutrition for our body.

 

Dear heart, thank you for restlessly transporting oxygen and nutrition inside our bodies even when we are asleep.

 

Dear various emotions within, thank you for conveying important messages and protecting us.

 

Slowly and deeply breathe-in and out.
If you feel you are ready,
open your eyes and come back to the present.

DBT Half-smile

Embracing happiness with the GLAD Technique
By 이승하 Seungha Lee, MSc

In the previous DBT skills training group, we practiced the Opposite Action skill through the half-smile mindfulness to experience one of the emotion regulation skills.  

 

For a minute or two, we imagined as if the events that made us angry or upset during the past week were happening at the very moment. We observed our thoughts and emotions, and any sensations that we noticed on our face and body. 

 

We then continued to imagine the situation that made us angry or upset with our hands put on our thighs facing upwards. We relaxed our facial muscles and slightly raised our lips making a half-smile. Again, for a minute or two, we observed our thoughts and feelings that occurred as well as any sensations on our face and body.  

 

One of the participants mentioned that she was still quite angry but at the same time experienced herself taking a step back from the situation, another participant observed that a small half-smile could reduce a significant amount of negative emotions as it is the exact opposite of what we usually do when we are upset.  

 

What were some of your observations during this mindfulness practice? Join the mindful journey of half-smile.