Finding my lost self

"I no longer feel excessive anxiety from uncertainty in life..."

Client, Center for International Psychological Services

I was able to find my lost self. Finding myself allowed me to take control of myself. I was able to manage the thoughts and emotions that have been exhausting me until now.  

 

There is nothing more difficult than starting the treatment in the beginning. Not knowing what the outcome would be, I felt stuck when I was told to do things throughout the treatment. The treatment process was also not easy. On some days, I could not reflect on myself nor regulate my emotions, and on other days I was overwhelmed with emotions and had a hard time. When I was feeling such pain, the treatment process felt like a torment to me. However, the torment made me stronger as a result.  

 

Thanks to my strong-willed and active participation with the treatment clinicians’ support, I no longer feel excessive anxiety from uncertainty in life and I am able to regulate my thoughts and emotions. Thank you to everyone who believed in me until the end of the treatment. 

* We appreciate our clients for their honest and sincere testimonials. 

Embracing the spring of positivity

"The confidence of knowing that I can do anything made me feel delighted."

DBT Client

Before I started my treatment, I was in a lot of pain.  

It was not easy for me to get through a cold winter.  

Anxiety and anger bullied me and my confidence hit rock bottom. 

But then, spring came to me. 

The flower of hope welcomed me. The butterflies spreading positivity embraced me and I learned to challenge myself. 

The confidence of knowing that I can do anything made me feel delighted.  

I am happy. 

I feel comfortable, joyous and proud. 

One cannot trade the value of treatments with anything else.  

The Tree Group’s treatment was an unforgettable, jewel-like experience in my life. 

Now, I am going to live my life brightly and fragrantly. 

* We appreciate our clients for their honest and sincere testimonials. 

Feeling depressed is not who I am

"I found my true self."

CBT, DBT Client

I thought I was going to stay this way. A depressed, hopeless, lazy and useless person. That was why I felt more downhearted. I could not believe this was who I was. How am I going to live another 80 years of my life feeling so helpless? I wanted to rather die. 

 

‘Whatever, this is who I am, therapy isn’t going to help me.’ I thought. I was annoyed and had doubts. 

 

Somehow, I started the treatment. Although I felt lazy to attend DBT Class and individual therapy sessions with my therapist, gradually I started having hope in getting better. I learned to believe that feeling depressed is not who I am, and I found my true self by working hard during the sessions. I am able to accept and validate undesirable characteristics of myself as well. 

 

I know that this is not the end of my journey, so I am going to continue working harder. I would like to continue applying the skills I learned at the Tree Group to my life and to learn the accepting attitudes demonstrated by the kindhearted clinicians.  

 

The Tree Group was the biggest fortune in my life. Thank you.  

* We appreciate our clients for their honest and sincere testimonials. 

Taking a step forward

"Staring at the snow outside my window, I feel peaceful as usual."

DBT Client

In March, when everybody is busy with starting a new term, I had decided to take a semester off and I was forced to visit the Tree Group by my friend. 

 

At that time, I trembled every night, because I was scared that I was going to harm myself.  

I was only filled with anger towards people who had harmed me.  

So, I spent every single day with pain and darkness.  

 

But now, I can write about those times with peace in mind as I have taken a step forward, away from the pain. Staring at the snow outside my window, I feel peaceful as usual.  

* We appreciate our clients for their honest and sincere testimonials. 

My favourite place

The Tree Group was my favourite place, I felt happy that I made new friends.

Child Client, School of LifeㅣActive Learning Center

“Hello,

 

My name is _____ and I am graduating the Tree Group. 

 

I am finally graduating. 

 

The Tree Group was my favourite place, I felt happy that I made new friends.

 

I don’t want to say goodbye to the teachers here. 

 

Thank you for helping me. Goodbye.”

 

* We appreciate our clients for their honest and sincere testimonials. 

I found my true self behind the trauma

"I no longer feel excessive anxiety from uncertainty in life..."
Client, Center for International Psychological Services

I still vividly remember the first day I met my clinician. It was when I would still shake by simply seeing the subway station related to the trauma. Back then, taking the subway to go to the Tree Group was a big challenge for me.  

 

I remember crying every day after starting the prolonged exposure therapy. I cried during the therapy session, cried while doing homework… every single day during the 12 weeks were full of tears. Intentionally recalling the trauma for exposure was never easy. I had so many moments of urge to quit the therapy. But I was able to take hold of my heart with support and encouragements from people around me.  

 

I no longer feel intimidated when I encounter men with similar age, body shape, and appearance as the attacker. When I dream about the trauma, I just forget about it and let it fade. Initially, I thought I would never be able to overcome the trauma. Nevertheless, the trauma no longer takes control of my life. 

 

I once thought that I would never be able to free myself from the haunting memory of the trauma. I considered it to be all I had. I thought the trauma defined who I am. But it was not true.  

 

I found out that I am a person with various sides. I laugh about small things, I am quiet and calm but can be playful in times, I enjoy reading books, and I can also act charming. I was able to find my true self behind the trauma.  

* We appreciate our clients for their honest and sincere testimonials. 

Today, I went to work

""For the past 9 months, the DBT program helped me face things I simply endured, the part of me I avoided and did not look into during the process, the many wrong perspectives and my vulnerabilities.""

DBT Client

I used to struggle with the simplest task for office workers. It wasn’t just the laziness kicking in. I did not know why but I was lethargic and could not get out of my bed every morning at a set time. Somedays, after barely getting out of the building, I would walk for a long time and suddenly feel suffocated and have blurry sights. I did not know the reasons and I had no choice but to just endure my sufferings. 

 

I did not have the words to explain what I was going through. I’ve encountered the term ‘PTSD’ but I assumed it was only for those who went through extreme events like war or natural disasters. Last January, when I first visited the Tree Group, I considered myself to be a depressed patient who went through some hard times. For the past 9 months, the DBT program helped me face things I simply endured, the part of me I avoided and did not look into during the process, the many wrong perspectives and my vulnerabilities.  

 

I was able to use my own words to articulate the thoughts that put me through troublesome moments, the incident that changed my life, and my inner mind that had to suffocate. I ate three meals every day, went to bed and woke up on time, went to work even if I could not do a lot of work. Following these simple tasks one at a time, I found myself at a comfortable state. Just like sailors learning to sail in the sea with waves, I learned how to find peace and mindfulness under the swirling emotions. 

 

In the journal I write every day, my emotion state is + on some days and – on other days. But the biggest change in me is that when I know and decide what things could be done to make a change, I can make it happen. I can’t live every day in a good mood, and it is natural that negative emotions arise, but I believe what is important is that I can look into myself and encourage myself. 

 

Looking back, there have been a lot of changes. Interpersonal relationships improved, my contact list got shortlisted from 1000 contacts to 50, and emotional fluctuation reduced with the simplification of my daily routines. Also, though still not at my best state, I can go to work every day. Saying ‘see you tomorrow’ gave my colleagues set expectations to see me the next day and greet each other the next day.  

 

I’ve finally recovered the basic functional skills, and I probably will have to put in much more effort to face the traumatic event through prolonged exposure therapy. I’ve heard that facing one’s trauma is not easy and that some clients would quit while still in therapy. I could relate to them, but for some reason I have a feeling that I could overcome my trauma. It’s probably because I am not alone.  

 

When I thought there wasn’t any hope nor energy left in me to live along, I remember everyone that held my hand and brought me to the Tree Group. I thank everyone who willingly stood by my side and supported me. They are still by my side.  

 

In the last session, I and my clinician had a good laugh when she told me I would become a ‘living legend’ when I finish this journey of therapy. Well, I really do not expect those ambitious titles nor roles. I just want to be happy at this moment. I hope my story could encourage those who need to go through the same therapy and that would be enough for me. Out of everything, I just want to be a “good uncle” to my nephews.  

* We appreciate our clients for their honest and sincere testimonials. 

Change seems difficult but can be easy.

"I have now acquired many skills that I can use to keep myself under control."

DBT Client

It feels like a very short period of time has gone through, but when I think about it it was a very long period of time. When I started writing this testimonial, the first thing that came to my mind was my second visit to the Tree Group.

Though things aren’t clear anymore, what I know for sure is that I was confused with everything back then. I was unstable, doubtful, and insular.

 

In the classes, the clinicians suggest us various experiences for us to try out and share our experiences with other classmates, but I felt a great amount of pressure with the sharing. I had to speak publicly in front of many people, and I would be self-conscious, hesitant, and blushed as I had no such experience like that. I stopped numerous times as I kept telling myself I would make mistakes.

 

Now I know it for sure. Things I used to consider odd is now reasonable for me, it seems odd that I even label it ‘reasonable’. When I can’t understand a person and his/her emotions, isn’t it only reasonable to accept before commenting on it? Now that I reach this thought, I think I am a very accepting person!

 

I have now acquired many skills that I can use to keep myself under control.

 

I would like to articulate the emotions that I learned by heart at the Tree Group but I can’t, probably because it feels like decades have passed. I have changed to a great extent so am not able to recall myself from back then.

* We appreciate our clients for their honest and sincere testimonials.